A week has past, this Sunday blues

1. When I was born, I got a choice : A big dick or a good memory.
I am not able to remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object.
Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence : It is nature's way of saying " No hard feelings "

5. There are only two four-letter words that are offensive to men :
" don't " and " stop ", unless they are used together.

6. Panties is not the best thing on earth,
but it's next to best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages to sex in a person's life:
Tri-weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under .

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with The Hole and she was happy with The Thing......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't !

16. Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party
and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.

17. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

18. Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus,
it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

19. Despite the old saying : " Don't take your troubles to bed ",
many men still sleep with their wives !!!

Azizulhasni and Fatehah for SUKMA

Hosts Terengganu recall Olympic-bound riders for Sukma

BY LIM TEIK HUAT

KUALA LUMPUR: It began with Olympic-bound swimmers Daniel Bego and Khoo Cai Lin having to fulfil obligations to their respective states and commit themselves to participation in Sukma (Malaysia Games), which begin in Kuala Terengganu on May 31.

And in the latest development, the host state are recalling their most famous young athletes – track cyclists Azizul Hasni Awang and Fatehah Mustapa – from their training base in Melbourne to compete in the Games.

One may question whether Azizul, the double Asian champion, should be back at all and run the risk of injuring himself and jeopardise his participation in his first Olympics in Beijing in August.

The track event will be stage on roads because Terengganu do not have a velodrome.

But in this instance, Australian coach John Beasley is releasing Azizul and Fatehah to help win gold medals for Terengganu in Sukma.

Recalled: Olympic-bound Fatehah Mustapa and Azizul Hasni Awang (inset) will return from their training base in Melbourne to ride for Terengganu in the Sukma.

Having established themselves at international level since they began training in Melbourne from last year, both cyclists will start as hot favourites in the 200m sprint and 1km time trial events.

“They wanted to bring back the two cyclists for their biggest sporting event back home. It's going to be a little sacrifice, especially for Azizul, who has qualified for the Olympics. But I do not think it will affect his preparations because he will be away for only five days,” said Beasley in a telephone interview from Melbourne yesterday.

“From my perspective, it's okay if they want Azizul and Fatehah to compete. They are seen as role models back home and there is nothing wrong if their home state want their own people to see their top athletes in action.

“While national interest is important, we have to remember that it is important too for these athletes to play their part in inspiring others to follow in their footsteps.”

Another reason Terengganu are bringing back Azizul is to honour his contributions to Malaysian cycling. They are keen on having him as their flag-bearer for the opening ceremony on May 31.

Azizul, who is expected to compete in the individual 200m sprint and keirin in the Beijing Olympics, became the first Malaysian to bag two gold medals in the Asian Championships in Japan last month.

The 19-year-old retained his keirin title and added the 200m sprint title to his name. He also helped Malaysia earn a first-ever silver medal in team sprint.

Fatehah, also 19, won two silver medals in her first appearance in the senior ranks of the Asian championships.

The Malaysian National Cycling Federation deputy president, Datuk Naim Mohamad, also voiced his support saying that the State Sports Council, in this instance, have to take extra precautions to ensure the safety for Olympic-bound athletes.

“Risks are everywhere, regardless of in Melbourne or Kuala Terengganu. We just have to be extra careful. While our objective is for our athletes to do well in the Olympics, we also have to recognise the fact that they also have an obligation to their states,” said Naim.

HAPPY WESAK DAY

In conjunction with this year's Wesak day, NM would like to chose the three best sports writers for the year. There are about 40 nominations recieved and for this year only three were successfully chosen. The three are: (alphabetically) Arnaz, Lim Teik Huat and Zairee. Congratulations.